Rituals

We all have our rituals... patterns of behavior that help us make it through the day or certain situations. Today at my radiation treatment I laid down, got my head situated, and they (two of the therapists - I learned they are called therapists, not techs), got my hands in the cuffs and I lowered my knees, and then they started to put The Mask on. They were talking between themselves about something or other, which I wasn't paying attention to. Then the male therapist apologized and asked if they were putting The Mask on too quickly, and mentioned that I normally like to take a bit to catch my breath and relax. He remembered I have a ritual that helps me cope with The Mask. So, they didn't finish attaching it to the board and let me take my few deep breaths and let them know when it was the right time to put it on. They have so many patients, yet they manage to remember my little ritual. There is another therapist, named Brian, who always asks me if I am doing okay and if I'm still with him, as he's putting on The Mask. I wonder if they have to go through getting a mask themselves so that they can relate to what it is like or not?

Sometimes, when I first get The Mask on, I feel like I could die... or pass out... or freak out, or all three. But then I work my way through it and start to consciously try to relax and go with the flo.

After the treatment was done, and the therapist helped me sit back up, I pointed to this pink slab that was leaning up against the wall and asked him what it was. He said that it's for patients that have to lay on their stomachs, mostly breast cancer patients. There is a place for them to put their face, and two cut outs (only one was open) for the breasts so that the breast can be exposed for treatment. Oh boy, just when I think I have it bad with The Mask...

Back at home, before lunch I took some of the Magic Mouthwash we got from the pharmacy today. I drank the tablespoon of it with a straw, which they recommend if you are going to swallow it, so that it goes straight to coat your throat. Well, it coated it, and soon after I started to gag and then magically vomited it back up. It numbed my throat a lot, but I think maybe because I had an empty stomach, and had already been feeling a bit nauseous, it didn't agree with me. It was very bitter tasting as well. I would rather have the sore throat than go through that everyday, but I will give it a try again another day. Maybe before dinner.